Thursday, August 7, 2014

Be Still

The story of Moses parting the Red Sea for the Israelites is, I would venture, quite well known.  I was reading it again this morning, though, thinking, if I were an Israelite, seeing the Egyptian army in all of it's military glory coming after me, feeling stuck up against an ocean that can't be crossed, I would have panicked too!  I would have complained the way that they did, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us here to die?" (Ex 14:11).  But, they didn't know what God was about to do.  The only reassurance they were given was from Moses, who answered the people, "Do not be afraid.  Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Ex 14: 13-14, emphasis mine).  That day the Lord parted the Red Sea for them to cross over, peacefully, just before allowing the ocean to wash back into place, destroying the Egyptian army completely.

I am sure that there were those among the Israelites who could have held their own.  They could have put up a valiant fight, maybe even escaped.  The Lord could have chosen to give them superhuman strength or perfect aim or the element of surprise to overpower the Egyptians.  But instead, this one time, I can almost hear God saying, "Sit right here. Don't move.  Be quiet and just watch.  I've got this."  And He did.

I am a valiant fighter.  God made me strong, gave me good sense, and an ability to GET STUFF DONE.  So, the very hardest thing for me to do is to be still.  I just don't want to.  Our adoption right now is forcing me to do that very thing.  We are logged in.  We will soon have been logged in for three months, waiting, waiting for that file of the little girl who is supposed to join our family.  We've been told it could be another 6-9 months of waiting, just to find out who she is.  I'm not going to lie, it stinks.  I hate that somewhere, she is waiting, without her family, without a Mama.  I want her to have someone sing her to sleep, I want her to have someone hug her good morning, I want her to know that she is so very cherished.  It's ok some days, and like a gaping, oozing wound on other days.  My oldest asks every other day about when we might get a picture of sister, if he can save certain toys for her, and whether I think she will like him to read to her.  He asks to watch little videos to help him learn some Mandarin.  He writes down important words he wants to remember, Mei Mei = Little Sister, Ge Ge = Older Brother.  I love his heart, but it breaks mine.

Meanwhile, we have celebrated birthdays:


We have taken peaceful vacations:



We celebrated 4th of July fishing with family and enjoying our first sparklers, courtesy of new friends:



















We've also spent lots of time with wonderful friends, and enjoying the fruits of summer:




Check that out...three months worth of amazing memories.  If I can't be still, I'm going to at least be JOYFUL!  The Lord has asked us to wait, to trust that even when we can't see what He's going to do, He's already doing it.  I hope every day that today will be the last day our daughter will have to go without a family that knows who she is, a family that will cherish her, pray for her, and love her for everything she is and isn't.  Meanwhile, I am so grateful to be part of that family.