We
are still waiting.
I wonder how
many more months of updates we have where I will have to begin that way. It has been ten months since we started our adoption journey. Our agency, with their conservative
estimates, says 5-8 more months. But I
wonder.
My
grandfather was an art director at a large company. He had an bright yellow director’s chair with
his name on it that I’m sure was some token of appreciation (or a good-humored
joke) from years ago at that company. He
loved that chair, and I’m sure it was comfortable, but I never sat in it. It had his name on it after all.
Director—one
entrusted with the direction of a group of individuals, a corporation, or an
artistic production.
If we think of
our lives as the most beautiful, the most complicated of artistic productions,
we know that we have no right to sit in the director’s chair. Whether you believe in the universe, karma,
or God by any name, you know that chair doesn’t have your name on it. You are not
writing the story, nor can you predict the outcome. We try, and sometimes it feels like we’re
sitting in that chair, but like triumphant toddlers standing on top of the
kitchen table, we’re not really doing it right, and it’s not a safe spot. We are bound to fall.
You can use
whatever you like as a reminder, but my reminder is Proverbs 16:9 “In their
hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”
I am
planning. I’m painting and buying a few
little outfits in bigger sizes when they are on sale. I’m checking our agency website. I’m making lists of things that need to be
done before we travel. I’m asking for
luggage for Christmas. But, the steps to
actually bring me to our little girl, those are still unknown. The step of seeing her little face is so far
away that I can’t imagine it.
So, we stay….
One.
Step.
At.
A.
Time.
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