Alright friends, we have one week left before surgery. Hubby and I are taking a short trip this weekend to get at least one full night's sleep and take a little break from being Mommy and Daddy before D-Day. Yes, truth be told, I feel a little guilty about going away, but it probably is the best thing we can do right now. The boys are staying with Nana and Papa, so pray that all goes well. Also, please pray that both boys stay completely healthy for the next week as we approach surgery.
I was inspired with a couple of truly funny jokes from friends recently, and I have an assignment for all (if you choose to participate). Think of, look up, or ask others for the funniest jokes you can find, and post them as a comment on this post. I will wait until we're at the hospital to read them, when we really need the humor. Seriously, even the worst knock-knock jokes would be appreciated. Let's see what we can come up with. :)
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
ReplyDeletegift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead." "How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing."
For years Dr. Benson had left his office and gone to Teddy's Bar, where Teddy would fix him a daiquiri laced with crushed pecans. One day, however, Teddy ran out of pecans; instead he substituted hickory nuts. Dr. Benson sat down and took a sip under Teddy's watchful eyes; he frowned. "Say, Teddy, this isn't an almond daiquiri. Just what is it?" "I can't lie to ya," Teddy said. "It's hickory daiquiri, Doc."
Kate F
These two Married couple were arguing who is making the coffee, the wife said in the Bible that men should make the coffee and the husband replied saying no its not, show me and the wife said its HEBREWS.
ReplyDeleteThese sentences actually appeared in a church bulletin or were announced in a church service!
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
What did Zero say to the Number Eight?
ReplyDeleteAnswer: Nice belt!!! HA!
Hope this put a smile on your face! Give James a kiss from me! XO, Kara